My Baby Girl - Birth Story

I'm pleased to announce the birth of my beautiful (I am biased!) baby girl who came into this world at 9.14am on Thursday morning.

The birth was completely different to what I had planned. I was hoping for a home birth but unfortunately as I went over due I was booked in for an induction at term plus 12.

On arrival in hospital on Wednesday morning I was found to be 4cm dilated so they planned to break my waters and see how I progressed. Unfortunately the antenatal ward were unable to perform ARM (artificial rupture of membranes) until labour ward had a delivery room available.

The day dragged! We were given hardly any information or any updates on when they might be able to get things started. I was extremely anxious and nervous and felt as though we'd been forgotten. I ended up getting really upset and kept bursting into tears. The final straw came when I asked for some paracetamol for the pain I was starting to feel and two hours later we had to ask again as nothing had materialised. At this point we had been there 10 hours and were very fed up so asked if we could go home as it seemed pointless being there.

Strangely, having threatened to go home, labour ward were suddenly able to fit us in! So my waters were broken and I was taken through to a delivery room. From this point on things started to get better.

The midwife happened to be the same community midwife I'd seen for the last five of my antenatal checks which immediately put me at my ease. She left me for an hour to see how I was progressing but unfortunately, although the contractions were getting very strong and painful, I hadn't dilated any more than I had that morning. At this point the decision was made to put me on the syntocinon drip and I decided I'd have an epidural as I had heard that contractions can get extremely strong very quickly when syntocinon is given.

The epidural was great! I still felt the pressure of each contraction and I wasn't completely pain free but it did enable me to get some rest - much needed after days of sleepless nights worrying about being induced!

After about 8 hours of labour, I was fully dilated and ready to start pushing. We let the epidural wear off so that I was able to feel the contractions, get onto my knees and push effectively.

40 mins later, Olivia was born - head and hand first in a superman pose.

The whole experience was amazing and nothing can describe the joy I felt holding her in my arms for the first time, watching her crawl to my breast for her first feed.

After one night on the postnatal ward we were discharged and were able to go home. We've had a few days of visiting grandparents but today, finally the three of us are having a lovely chilled out day together. Grant is being a fantastic Daddy, changing the majority of nappies and generally looking after us, what ever time day or night.

28 weeks today - the 3rd trimester!

Wow - I am 28 weeks today!

Now I am officially in the 3rd trimester, everything suddenly feels a bit unreal. It's almost as though I can't believe that in just 12 weeks my bump will be replaced with a real life baby. That point has seemed so far off for so long and now it is finally in sight.

No photo today - I don't really think I've grown much since the last one and my weight gain seems to have slowed slightly - not stopped though!

I've got my 28 week midwife appointment and bloods on Monday and I'm hoping to get some information about the hospital tour and antenatal classes. Grant is coming with me this time so hopefully I'll feel less deflated when I leave.

Body Image and Pregnancy

I'm 27 weeks today! The 28 week point and the third trimester is almost here and I'm getting more and more excited about the arrival of baby in 3 months time!

I'm also growing! I feel huge and my mum and Grant are sure that I have got bigger in just a few days. Looking at this photo though, I look quite small still. It's weird how our perceptions of ourselves differ. When I look down or look in the mirror I see a massive belly in front of me, I feel as though I have a bowling ball strapped to my waist.

I took this photo this morning to show how much I've grown and am quite surprised at how little and neat my bump is. It's nice to see. Although I'm loving being pregnant and have never felt so at ease with my appearance - in fact I would go as far to say I have never felt this sexy and attractive - I still struggle a little to come to terms with comments like 'wow you're huge' or 'gosh and you've still got 3 more months!'.

Most people are overly aware of their size - in my experience it is normally those who have nothing to worry about that are more aware of every little gain or loss in their weight and I would say our media is to blame there. It seems to me that during pregnancy women are not meant to have any feelings about their appearance. We're meant to bloom, to revel in the fact that our body is growing huge to provide life to another and accept others commenting freely on how we look.

I'm lucky in that I haven't had any strangers coming up to me and touching my bump or giving me well meaning 'advice', but I do have a mother who has always been very body conscious - not just with her own body but mine as well - and who comments weekly on how much I've grown. She doesn't do it with any malice or unpleasantness, she just makes the comment.

I've also got a very well meaning step father who thinks he knows everything there is to know about pregnancy. His experience comes from his ex wife's two pregnancies - over 30 years ago - and from farm animals - I had to tell him yesterday that I am not a cow! Again, he doesn't wish to be unpleasant or mean, he is often trying to sympathise with me, but sometimes it would be nice for him to realise that I am the expert when it comes to my body and my pregnancy, and not every women (or should that be female mammal) has the same pregnancy or the same feelings during pregnancy.

Sometimes it would be nice for them all to just recognise that I am going through a massive change in my life - both physically and psychologically - and the best support that they could give me would be to just let me be me.

Wow - I did not mean for this post to become such a rant, it was meant to be all about my growing bump and how excited I am to become a mother. I'm glad I wrote it all though as it's clearly been lurking under the surface for some time. I've been feeling quite emotionally fragile lately and have noticed signs of my depression creeping in again. I don't think it is anything to worry about but I do need to acknowledge these feelings so that I can nip them in the bud now and not let them take over like they did last year.

Movement

I've been suffering from writers block this week. The weather has been dull and so has my mood!

But the sun is out this afternoon and I was given a little treat all of my own earlier... I felt baby's first kick!

I've been feeling slight movement for a little while but it is hard to tell if its the baby or just wind! Today, however, I definitely got a kick :)

I was just sitting at my computer with my hand on my tummy and suddenly I felt a sharp but light pressure in my side, below my hand.

I was so overcome with emotion and it was a real shame that Grant wasn't there to share the experience with me, but so wonderful to properly feel the baby inside me.

It is sometimes easy to not feel very pregnant and to feel as though the baby will never arrive, but moments like that really confirm to me that I have a little person growing inside me and in a few months we'll meet that person!

I'm sure that there will come a time that I will have had enough of being kicked through the night, but for now, that little moment of movement has put a big smile on my face.

Monday Blues

I've had a bit of a weepy day today. I'm not even sure why!

I had my 16 week midwife appointment this morning, just like after my first appointment, I left feeling as though it had all been a bit of a waste of time!

I did get to hear my baby's heart beat, which a relief, not that I had been worrying about the baby (until she got the Doppler out!) and I had my urine tested, which was also fine.

I didn't really know what to expect from her today, but I didn't expect to feel so much in limbo - too far in to the pregnancy to be a concern, too early to be given any information about labour and what happens after the birth.

I know I should be pleased that there were no causes for concern, and I am, don't get me wrong, but it does leave me feeling that first time mothers really don't get much support from the professionals who are supposed to be overseeing the pregnancy and birth. It's no wonder websites offering forums and advice are so popular, and thank goodness they are so prolific, but do they always give the most accurate advice? I feel that I should take everything I read on-line with a pinch of salt.

Anyway, this didn't in itself set off the waterworks, generally work issues were to blame there, but I do think the feeling of disappointment I came away from the midwife with set me up to have an emotional day.