Christmas is coming!

I'm so excited about Christmas, I love this time of year! As I've said in a previous post, I have done all of my shopping, although still waiting for a few deliveries - grr!

I have also decorated the tree and wrapped quite a few presents.

This year I made my first Christmas cakes - one for my mum and one for Grant's mum. I don't actually like Christmas cake but enjoy baking so thought I'd offer my services. My cake decorating skills are a little basic though!

Bump Gallery

As you will see from the below, I have grown quite a lot in the last 31 weeks! I had started taking a bump photo every week but we kept forgetting - now it's when ever I remember....

31 week bump

25 week bump

20 week bump

16 week bump

I wonder how big I will eventually get - I have managed to make to with my regular winter coat so far - I can just do up one button and the belt to keep me warm but I think I shall have to find something larger for my last couple of months.

30weeks - Snow and aches and pains

I hit the 30 week mark on Friday (so almost 31 wks now) and am becoming more and more uncomfortable. Back ache, tiredness, sleeplessness, breathlessness... it goes on!

On top of this, I have to have an extra set of blood tests next week because my platelets were low at my 28wk check. I don't mind blood tests but I wouldn't say I enjoy having a needle in my arm!

I also seem to have lost all inspiration for blogging, not that I'm a regular poster anyway.

We've got our hospital tour next week so perhaps I'll be feeling a bit more excited/inspired after that!

We had quite a lot of snow here yesterday and now it's all frozen over. I do love the snow; I love the way everything looks fresh and the way the sun reflects creating such a bright light. Unfortunately it's all got messy now and the sun is no where to be seen so everything is looking a bit grey, dark and dingy now!

On the plus, I've managed to get all my Christmas shopping done already - oh I love the internet - just have to hope it all turns up now! I have an extended family with grandparents, step parents and step siblings to buy for (on top of the usual family) so it is a relief to get it all done.

I can't wait to wrap it all - this is the best bit about Christmas presents!!

28 weeks today - the 3rd trimester!

Wow - I am 28 weeks today!

Now I am officially in the 3rd trimester, everything suddenly feels a bit unreal. It's almost as though I can't believe that in just 12 weeks my bump will be replaced with a real life baby. That point has seemed so far off for so long and now it is finally in sight.

No photo today - I don't really think I've grown much since the last one and my weight gain seems to have slowed slightly - not stopped though!

I've got my 28 week midwife appointment and bloods on Monday and I'm hoping to get some information about the hospital tour and antenatal classes. Grant is coming with me this time so hopefully I'll feel less deflated when I leave.

Body Image and Pregnancy

I'm 27 weeks today! The 28 week point and the third trimester is almost here and I'm getting more and more excited about the arrival of baby in 3 months time!

I'm also growing! I feel huge and my mum and Grant are sure that I have got bigger in just a few days. Looking at this photo though, I look quite small still. It's weird how our perceptions of ourselves differ. When I look down or look in the mirror I see a massive belly in front of me, I feel as though I have a bowling ball strapped to my waist.

I took this photo this morning to show how much I've grown and am quite surprised at how little and neat my bump is. It's nice to see. Although I'm loving being pregnant and have never felt so at ease with my appearance - in fact I would go as far to say I have never felt this sexy and attractive - I still struggle a little to come to terms with comments like 'wow you're huge' or 'gosh and you've still got 3 more months!'.

Most people are overly aware of their size - in my experience it is normally those who have nothing to worry about that are more aware of every little gain or loss in their weight and I would say our media is to blame there. It seems to me that during pregnancy women are not meant to have any feelings about their appearance. We're meant to bloom, to revel in the fact that our body is growing huge to provide life to another and accept others commenting freely on how we look.

I'm lucky in that I haven't had any strangers coming up to me and touching my bump or giving me well meaning 'advice', but I do have a mother who has always been very body conscious - not just with her own body but mine as well - and who comments weekly on how much I've grown. She doesn't do it with any malice or unpleasantness, she just makes the comment.

I've also got a very well meaning step father who thinks he knows everything there is to know about pregnancy. His experience comes from his ex wife's two pregnancies - over 30 years ago - and from farm animals - I had to tell him yesterday that I am not a cow! Again, he doesn't wish to be unpleasant or mean, he is often trying to sympathise with me, but sometimes it would be nice for him to realise that I am the expert when it comes to my body and my pregnancy, and not every women (or should that be female mammal) has the same pregnancy or the same feelings during pregnancy.

Sometimes it would be nice for them all to just recognise that I am going through a massive change in my life - both physically and psychologically - and the best support that they could give me would be to just let me be me.

Wow - I did not mean for this post to become such a rant, it was meant to be all about my growing bump and how excited I am to become a mother. I'm glad I wrote it all though as it's clearly been lurking under the surface for some time. I've been feeling quite emotionally fragile lately and have noticed signs of my depression creeping in again. I don't think it is anything to worry about but I do need to acknowledge these feelings so that I can nip them in the bud now and not let them take over like they did last year.

Baby Disco

For the last few days it has felt as though the baby is having a party in my tummy! The movement has been pretty much constant (except when Grant puts his hand on my belly). It is getting really strong now too and is sometimes a little bit painful but really reassuring to feel, even if I do feel like I have a little kick boxer inside me!

Not only can I feel the kicks but I can also see them. My whole stomach moves each time, as though she's trying to escape! I read that the baby will be going through a growth spurt now which may account for the extra force. I suppose she is making the most of the space while she can.

Luckily I seem to be able to sleep through them during the night but if I'm cuddling Grant he can feel them and often gets woken up. I find this incredible as normally he will sleep through everything and I wake up at the slightest noise, perhaps it is his protective father instincts kicking in!

I think I am experiencing a growth spurt too as I feel as though I get bigger every day. I feel huge now, although in some clothes I still don't really look pregnant, but then some clothes make me look ready to pop! I never really realised how tired carrying this extra weight would make me; just climbing the one flight of stairs up to our flat leaves me feeling a bit breathless - I'm 26 weeks now so I dread to think how I will be feeling at 36 weeks!

February still seems a long way off but when I look at it in terms of weeks it's nothing - especially with Christmas and all the excitement that comes with it! I am slowly gathering the things we need for the baby, although not going over board as space is limited in the flat. The car seat arrived today and I couldn't help having a little play with it and wheel it about on the chassis of the travel system we have bought. It looks very smart, and very comfortable for the little one - someone should invent a similar design for adult car seats!

A little lost

Just got back from my 25 week antenatal check. All was well so should be feeling happy but I'm not!

I seem to get this feeling after every appointment; slightly unsure, lost and clueless... I think subconsciously I think that the MW or the Dr will impart some valuable piece of knowledge that isn't to be found in any book, blog or forum that I've read or that I'll feel some sort of kinship with them - both of these things is highly unlikely and it is silly of me to pile on so much expectation when:

a) I am an information addict - if its out there I have probably already read it! Not that I am a know it all otherwise I wouldn't be feeling lost.

b) Both midwives and doctors are very busy people and see many pregnant women, I am just one more to see - for me this is my first time so everything is new, for them it is all routine and I should be happy that they are not in any way concerned about my pregnancy.

c) I have seen a different person for each check, how can I expect to develop a rapport in a 15min slot?!?

Anyway, my next is in 3 weeks and this time Grant is coming too, at least I will have some moral support and may feel more reassured as I think we will be discussing antenatal classes and the hospital tour.

For now I shall focus on the fact that the baby and I are fine and we are almost into the 3rd trimester so in the grand scheme of things, not long now till feb!