Movement

I've been suffering from writers block this week. The weather has been dull and so has my mood!

But the sun is out this afternoon and I was given a little treat all of my own earlier... I felt baby's first kick!

I've been feeling slight movement for a little while but it is hard to tell if its the baby or just wind! Today, however, I definitely got a kick :)

I was just sitting at my computer with my hand on my tummy and suddenly I felt a sharp but light pressure in my side, below my hand.

I was so overcome with emotion and it was a real shame that Grant wasn't there to share the experience with me, but so wonderful to properly feel the baby inside me.

It is sometimes easy to not feel very pregnant and to feel as though the baby will never arrive, but moments like that really confirm to me that I have a little person growing inside me and in a few months we'll meet that person!

I'm sure that there will come a time that I will have had enough of being kicked through the night, but for now, that little moment of movement has put a big smile on my face.

Monday Blues

I've had a bit of a weepy day today. I'm not even sure why!

I had my 16 week midwife appointment this morning, just like after my first appointment, I left feeling as though it had all been a bit of a waste of time!

I did get to hear my baby's heart beat, which a relief, not that I had been worrying about the baby (until she got the Doppler out!) and I had my urine tested, which was also fine.

I didn't really know what to expect from her today, but I didn't expect to feel so much in limbo - too far in to the pregnancy to be a concern, too early to be given any information about labour and what happens after the birth.

I know I should be pleased that there were no causes for concern, and I am, don't get me wrong, but it does leave me feeling that first time mothers really don't get much support from the professionals who are supposed to be overseeing the pregnancy and birth. It's no wonder websites offering forums and advice are so popular, and thank goodness they are so prolific, but do they always give the most accurate advice? I feel that I should take everything I read on-line with a pinch of salt.

Anyway, this didn't in itself set off the waterworks, generally work issues were to blame there, but I do think the feeling of disappointment I came away from the midwife with set me up to have an emotional day.

Sleep

For the last few weeks I have been finding it really hard to sleep. If it's not needing the loo that's waking me up, it's achey legs, strange dreams or Grant moving in his sleep (I am a very light sleeper!). My mum tells me to get used to it as it will only get worse further into my pregnancy I am - great, thanks Mum!

Last night however, I managed to sleep pretty well. Grant was away for the night and although I hate it when we sleep apart, I have to say, I sleep so much better when I have the bed to myself! A combination of pillows and cushions supporting me at various points (to keep me on my side) and just having the space seems to have done the trick!

Our bed is a standard double but it seems to feel increasingly small for us. I have a feeling we're going to have to invest in a larger bed, especially as my bump will be growing in the next few weeks and so there'll be even less space for us!

I'm trying to put it 0ff though as it wouldn't just be the bed we'd have to buy but a whole new lot of bedding too - add this to all the baby stuff we're going to have to buy soon and it becomes a small fortune.

Maybe last night is a taste of things to come and I'll be able to sleep a bit more comfortably even with Grant in the bed - let's hope so!

Craftiness

I am very excited! I have just booked a beginners day course in knitting at Wibbling Wools in Bury St. Edmunds.

A friend of mine asked me if I wanted to go and I just couldn't refuse. I'd been thinking about learning how to knit for some time and really want a crafty hobby to get my teeth into. I'm sure I won't be an expert after one lesson but I can't wait to be able to try and make things for baby to be.

My grandma was always a great knitter and I remember being fascinated by the process. For some reason she never taught me to knit, although she did teach me to sew, a skill that I am badly out of practice in! Grant told me that his Mum taught him to knit when he was little and he really enjoyed it -he's forgotten how to now but wants me to reteach him once I have the hang of it! I really hope my child will want to learn too as I value the idea of passing things on through generations and keeping a common interest threading through a family.

Information Addict

Since finding out about my pregnancy I have become an information junkie!

I've been spending a stupid amount of time looking at just about every baby related website I can find.

Unfortunately I work from home and so have no one looking over me, checking up on what I'm doing and I can often lose a whole afternoon just reading forums, blogs and information sites, oh and not to mention the baby product websites!

I also have a few magazines and books that I've been given, which are also a complete distraction - I think because I'm reading or working on my lap top I can pretend that I'm doing something worthwhile and productive - never mind that it is completely unrelated to my work.

If I worked for myself I suppose it wouldn't be so bad, but I work for my family and now feel guilty for wasting the time that they are paying me to work in! Not sure how I can solve this problem. When I try and be strict with myself I find I can't concentrate on my work anyway which feels less productive than researching baby stuff.

Maybe I will grow out of it as I become more used to being pregnant. However I fear the opposite will happen and the nearer I get to the due date the less engaged in my work I will be - I'm sure this is normal when you only have a few weeks until your baby is due but I have 5 months to get through!

Ultimately it shows how little interest I have in my career. I've never been passionate about any job I have done and have battled mild depression for several years because of my feelings of inadequacy towards my career. It has only been since I found out about my baby that I have begun to feel happy again which highlights to me how important having a child and being a mother is to me. I'm just worried I will become dependent on my baby to be happy.

Sunday Baking

I love to bake; it gives me such a sense of happiness and achievement to take ingredients and turn them into something completely different. I'm no master baker but I do pride myself on making really good sponge cakes, especially fairy cakes (I refuse to call them cupcakes!).

Yesterday, as Grant was watching endless football on TV, I decided to spend the afternoon making some cakes. I made some choc chip ones and some plain ones with lemon icing. They turned out really well except that the choc chips all sank to the bottom of the cakes - need to work out how to stop this happening - but they still taste good. I revisited my childhood with the icing and used bright colours and hundreds of thousands.

So much for having a healthy day! We ate quite a few of the cakes and then felt very fat for the rest of the day - I also think the sugar affected my sleep as I hardly slept a wink.

It was worth it though!

The pictures aren't great but you get the jist!

Health in Pregnancy

I've always been quite a healthy eater; I try and get at least my 5 a day in and steer clear of 'empty' calories - and if anything I have become more health concious since becoming pregnant as I want to give my baby the best possible start in life.

There are always times however when this all goes out the window, generally at the weekend, when meal times are less obvious and brunch merges into afternoon tea and the lure of a take away for supper is all too great.

Yesterday was one such occasion. We had very little food in the house, certainly nothing green or fresh and having spent the day snacking on carbs and home made flapjacks, we decided that a take away was a better idea than trying to put together a meal from our meagre supplies. Normally we would go for a curry as its our number one choice of take away food and we have a vast amount of really decent curry houses nearby. Being pregnant however, leaves me feeling less enthusiastic about our favourite so we decided to try a Chinese take away instead.

We have a cupboard in our kitchen which is full of the take away menus that get pushed through the front door, unfortunately only one was for a Chinese which meant we had very little choice.

So we ordered, they delivered and we ate. I'm now feeling hugely dehydrated which I put down to the MSG that was no doubt laced throughout everything. The sauces were ok at first bite but then we were hit with a chemical undertone that really shouldn't have been there! I think it's safe to say we won't be getting Chinese take away again any time soon!

I have decided that today I will be healthier - maybe not weekday healthy but I will definitely try to eat at least some of my five a day. At least I won't be tempted to eat any flapjacks - I've already finished them for breakfast!!

Becoming a Mother

I'm 15 weeks pregnant today! The last few weeks have flown by and it's hard to think that in about 25 weeks time I will be a mummy.

I am highly excited about becoming a parent as is my boyfriend Grant. We decided that we'd try for a baby after spending some time with friends of ours over Easter. They have a beautiful little boy who was 6 months at the time and it really brought home to us how much we'd like to start a family of our own. Two months later and we found out I was pregnant - we were over joyed!

We decided not to tell anyone except our parents until after our 12 week scan - something I found very hard!

Having had the scan a few weeks ago, we have seen most of our friends now and shared the news with all and sundry. All our friends have been so excited for us which has been fantastic although I have found it all a bit overwhelming, especially as we've known for 10 weeks. I am still very excited but, being quite reserved by nature have found it hard to keep up the overtly enthusiastic excitement that people seem to expect - hope I don't come across as cold or heartless! I am also really aware of not becoming the person who only talks about their baby all night long! At home however I am happy to babble on about the baby with Grant as I know he is the only person in the world who could possibly be as excited as me about this new stage in our lives together.