Since finding out about my pregnancy I have become an information junkie!
I've been spending a stupid amount of time looking at just about every baby related website I can find.
Unfortunately I work from home and so have no one looking over me, checking up on what I'm doing and I can often lose a whole afternoon just reading forums, blogs and information sites, oh and not to mention the baby product websites!
I also have a few magazines and books that I've been given, which are also a complete distraction - I think because I'm reading or working on my lap top I can pretend that I'm doing something worthwhile and productive - never mind that it is completely unrelated to my work.
If I worked for myself I suppose it wouldn't be so bad, but I work for my family and now feel guilty for wasting the time that they are paying me to work in! Not sure how I can solve this problem. When I try and be strict with myself I find I can't concentrate on my work anyway which feels less productive than researching baby stuff.
Maybe I will grow out of it as I become more used to being pregnant. However I fear the opposite will happen and the nearer I get to the due date the less engaged in my work I will be - I'm sure this is normal when you only have a few weeks until your baby is due but I have 5 months to get through!
Ultimately it shows how little interest I have in my career. I've never been passionate about any job I have done and have battled mild depression for several years because of my feelings of inadequacy towards my career. It has only been since I found out about my baby that I have begun to feel happy again which highlights to me how important having a child and being a mother is to me. I'm just worried I will become dependent on my baby to be happy.
I was never really a career minded person. I guess because I knew I wanted a family and wanted to be a stay-at-home mum if possible it never seemed worth getting excited about a job. Plus I never had a job I felt passionate about.... until now. Being a stay-at-home mum is a job I obviously do feel passionate about and I now feel like I am doing something worthwhile with my life. I am also looking forward to the future in the world of work. Hopefully going back to do something I love.
ReplyDeleteIt has been a really positive experience for me to read other blogs from stay at home mothers. It makes me realise that choosing to stay at home to care for your child(ren) is a valid career move and is, for some people, the most rewarding job in the world.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment PhotoPuddle, it's so great to hear from other people who aren't career mad or who have found their dream vocation in parenting.